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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 20.06.2025 00:55

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

I found out I have cancer—I have not told my family. We can’t afford the treatment anyway. Should I just say nothing and let nature take its course?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

Loneliness is bad for your health—but it may not be as deadly as once thought, new research finds - AOL.com

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

What is the most interesting question you can ask to get to know someone?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.